Running Rules of Etiquette

or things I ponder/fume about as I run along the increasingly packed Lakeshore Path:

Rule #1: Unless you're trying to lose it permanently, keep your junk in your trunk. In other words, space is at a premium and you should occupy as little as possible. No jogging with strollers. You're probably just giving Junior a sunburn. No rollerblades when it's crowded. They take up too much lateral space when you kick your ankles out. No unattended small children or pets. I will mercilessly crush them under my bike wheels if they dart in front of me. No Segways, motorized scooters, or Magic Wheels. Just...no.

Rule #2: If you pass someone, do it quickly to minimize the amount of time you're running side by side. It's bad enough that you're being passed; no need to draw out the encounter with the runner who is pwning you. Then build up a decent length between you and the other person, so that there's no chance they will try to overtake you. There's nothing worse than passive-aggressive leapfrogging on the crowded path. Speaking from experience, this can lead to tempers flaring, minor injuries and jammed derailleurs.

Rule #3: If you decide to follow someone, be a considerable distance behind them, so they don't feel like they're being hounded. The appropriate distance is far enough away such that they can't hear the pounding of your feet or your out-of-breath wheezing.

Having said all that, occasionally you do find someone who has hit the sweet spot in pacing, an inspiring equilibrium level that is challenging yet manageable. Tonight, as I leaned against a tree to stretch post-run, another woman huffed and puffed to a stop nearby. "Thank you!" she beamed. "YOU are the reason I've gotten here! I was behind you the whole time, keeping up with your pace. It's a good thing you didn't speed up!"