Sixteen at Trump Tower

I was lucky enough to score an evaluation of Sixteen, the new restaurant at Chicago's Trump International Hotel & Tower. This officially marks the most expensive meal of my life, though ultimately I wasn't paying for it (phew). Sixteen opened fairly recently last spring, to much hoopla and fanfare as is appropriate for a Trump property. Now, does it live up to the hype? Some thoughts on the experience:

The service is phenomenal

As soon as I stepped foot on the sidewalk outside Trump Tower, it was as though I'd entered the Pampered Princess Zone. Doors were opened for me. Revolving doors were revolved for me. I didn't have to lift a finger to push the elevator button. Heck, they even wiped my ass for me. Okay, they didn't, but they did pretty much put on my coat for me. Service flow during dinner was extraordinarily smooth, probably better than any other restaurant I've ever seen before. Plates were silently whisked away as soon as I set down my fork, and my glass was never more than halfway empty. Plus, our server was super cute and knew the menu inside and out. I peppered her with questions about the barramundi (a type of fish), while Jen asked her to describe a couple wines from the hefty list, and she handily provided detailed descriptions.

The gay bartender is adorable

I arranged to come before Jen, so that I would have an excuse to scope out the bar before dinner. The bar was fairly quiet, with only 3 other guests around, but no matter, the bartender was there to keep up the patter of conversation and provide festive beverages. Like everyone else I encountered, he was all smiles. He also asked me for an id, which is unusual at high-end places in my experience, so good for him! Also, the bar snacks provided included mixed nuts, olives, and cured garlic. That's right, I was noshing on whole cloves of garlic, and it was delicious. (Much more pleasant than the time Scott dared me to eat whole cloves of raw garlic) With that precursor, I had great expectations for dinner, but...

The food is meh

After our meal, I felt incredibly full even though I hadn't actually eaten that much because everything was so rich, and not necessarily in a good way. Chef Brunacci's menu features contemporary American takes on standard dishes (duck, rack of lamb, scallop, steak), and certainly focused on meat as the center of the plate. There were no vegetarian-friendly options for entrees, not even a pasta dish, and I don't think any of the appetizers were vegetarian either. I ended up trying the foie gras (parsley sauce, crab salad and puff pastry) for an appetizer, the duck (polenta cake, date & orange chutney, and black cardamom) for my entree, and the Nougat Deconstructed (honey ice cream, pistachio crisp, sheet wafer) for dessert. Each item was good, but not outstanding, and I found myself hankering for other flavors besides decadent meaty & creamy goodness. For instance, I would have rather had less duck in exchange for additional polenta and chutney. We were also given an oxtail-mushroom soup amuse-bouche, a caramel creme tart for a pre-dessert course, and a tray of caramels, macaroons and petit fours for a post-dessert course. This results in an awful lot of dessert, and by the end, I was too full to appreciate any of it. I would have much preferred a lighter intermezzo course; even the typical tart sorbet would have provided some much-needed contrast.

Don't get me wrong, the food is very good, it simply didn't wow me. I would venture to say the duck I had at Taughannock Farms Inn was better. And I say all this knowing that many people have worked very hard at putting together this restaurant, and think it's the bestest restaurant in the city, and here I go lambasting the food in one swoop as just being "okay." Considering my most recent restaurant excursions (Ethiopian, fish tacos, pork & beer hall), perhaps this simply isn't diverse enough to be my style of restaurant. Or, perhaps I'm becoming jaded.

Trump is in da hizzouse

Hot damn, is that a 19,000-crystal Swarovski chandelier hanging from the 30' ceiling? Can we say this place packs some bling? Much like its namesake, Trump Tower has a flair for the dramatic, though it is always with understated elegance. From the chocolate bark embossed with the Trump logo in our dessert, to the jaw-dropping view of the Chicago skyline, the atmosphere was designed to be bold and ostentatious, though never tacky. The foyer features an impressive look at the wine cellar, with hundreds of bottles neatly stacked behind the glass. I might also add that the chairs come with armrests and are incredibly comfortable. And, in case you are interested in living so luxuriously on a permanent basis, business cards and pamphlets to buy a condominium in Trump Tower are tucked into the credit card folios.

Conclusion: Sixteen is overpriced like an airplane seat-pocket catalogue

I wanted to love this restaurant, I really did. But I hear there's a recession in town, and that does not bode well for Sixteen in its current form. Chicago is a big town with lots of upscale restaurants, and with $14 cocktails, $25 appetizers, $45 entrees and $15 desserts, I can easily think of other places where I can get better food for that money. Does the view and the service compensate for the just-good food? I'm thinking no. Moreover, hotel restaurants always fight an uphill battle to attract non-hotel guests. Does Sixteen have enough to differentiate itself from the city's coterie of independent restaurants? I'm not sure that it does. At any rate, fear not, Sixteen will be around for at least as long as Trump Tower is operating...