Cubs Game

In a continuing effort to expand my horizons, I went to my first baseball game yesterday afternoon. We grilled burgers, (literally) pre-gamed with beers, and sang "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" on the way to Wrigley Field. I was practically ready to swear off sushi for liberty fries. Almost.

Baseball is one of the few games whose rules I mostly understand, and I freely admit that it can be boring. The game consists of long stretches of time when the ball isn't moving, and the score rarely makes it above single digits. No matter, this is why beer is readily available. We sat in the bleachers behind the outfield, and had an excellent view of the batter, all the better for catching those home-run balls. To further entertain ourselves, heckling the opposing team is a prominent past-time. Much like at Cornell hockey games, it is advisable to insult players on the other team by directly using their name. Ergo, Arizona Diamondbacks right-fielder Jeff Salazar bore the brunt of our section's aggression. Some highlights:

"Salazar wears a child's jock strap!"
"Salazar is a trannie!"
"Salazar makes league minimum!"
and finally, the classic:
"Salazar, Salazar, Salazarrr! YOU SUCK!"

Gentleman sitting behind us: Salazar, you cock sucker! [ etc. ]
Britton: Geez, but there are two small children right next to him!
Me: Haha, what if those are his children?
Aforementioned gentleman: Hey Billy, what did Daddy just say?

Not to be outdone, we decided to offer a few taunts of our own:

Erik: Salazar, I find your behavior morally reprehensible, but I will fight to the end for your right to act as you choose!

The audience that the bleachers attracts is colorful indeed. The woman in front of us told us she'd been smoking pot before the game, and had been drinking heavily since then. Suffice it to say, she was spilling beer all over the place, and by the end, Ricky was clandestinely holding her cup up for her. Meanwhile, the woman's boyfriend spilled much of his beer into the hair of another woman, which was quite all right because she had spilled a good amount of beer on his shorts earlier in the game.

Luckily, the Cubs recovered from a 2-1 deficit, with a monster 6 runs in the 7th inning, to win the game 7-2. The stadium roared with approval and launched into a rendition of "Go Cubs Go," the team's somewhat hokey but undeniably catchy theme song.