Cyclical Adventures

On my way to work this morning, I saw a bike get stolen. It was efficient, it was brazen, it was almost imperceptible.

The problem with bicycles is that it is nearly impossible to deter a determined thief. Even if the frame is secured, it doesn't take much time or hardware to disassemble valuable parts. If you lock a bike's frame to a bike rack, you are still leaving your wheels exposed, many of which come with quick-release latches. Then there are all sorts of peripheral parts that can walk away. In the last 6 months, I have seen a friend get his seat stolen, and another friend had her disc brakes and front wheel stolen (though she didn't notice at first because the thief helpfully replaced the wheel). Bikes are particularly vulnerable in high-traffic urban areas. In a classic tale of New Haven sketchiness, Yalie friends told me that one time a bike was locked to a stop sign, and when the owner returned, the bike AND the stop sign were gone.

By dumb luck (or misfortune), I happened to see this guy approach a bike rack, and something about his body language made me uneasy. He scanned the bikes, then moved toward one in particular and bent down to examine the rear derailleur. I kept walking down the block, throwing glances over my shoulder and feeling unsettled. Should I turn a blind eye? But what could I possibly do, make a citizen's arrest? No one else was even glancing at the guy. It was as if I were the only person who could see clearly.

I thought perhaps if I casually approached the guy, he would get skittish and leave. He was a black male, shoddily dressed and with a deformed right eye, and at this point, he was full-out loosening bolts and shifter cables. So, what are you doing, I asked. Uh, fixing the rear gear set, he mumbled. Is that yours, he asked, motioning toward an adjacent bike. No, I answered, mine's further down the street. Why don't you go get it, he asked. It's a nice day, and I like watching people work on bikes, I said. I stood there for a minute, debating what to do, watching a crime take place before my eyes.

Seeing that my presence wasn't a deterrent, I quickly walked away and asked a pedestrian what the non-emergency police number was. (It's 311, for future reference.) Another woman overheard and pointed me to an unmarked police car on the next corner. I ran over, but by the time I waved him down, a backwards glance saw the thief speeding away with his new property. The cop thanked me for "doing the right thing," and told me to just call 911 next time. This time though, it was too late.

The whole scenario took no more than 5 minutes.

The bike was locked with a standard u-lock, the same kind I use every day. I have no idea how the thief managed to defeat that, and it makes me worry that the only reason my bike hasn't been stolen so far is because it simply hasn't been targeted yet.

I should have just punched the guy. (He wasn't that big.)

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As it so happens, I'd been researching road bikes for the last couple weeks, and had made arrangements to take a look at one posted on Craig's List. Road bikes are feather-light, come with flashy equipment like clipless pedals, and are generally upwards of $1,000 for entry-level bikes while competitive ones might be several grand. But Crystal, you've already got two bikes, do you honestly need a third? Well no, but I rationalized that each of my bikes would be very different (mountain, road, 3-speed), plus I was getting a nice chunk of change in the mail from my tax rebate. Thank you, President Bush.

After work, I trekked to Evanston to take a test ride on this bike. My first thought was that I was now going really, really fast. My second thought was that the aerodynamic, flattened back position would take some getting used to, and that my wrists were starting to hurt. This was quite different from riding a kid's bike, and I nearly fell over on a couple occasions. But overall, the bike handled well, and the seller included extra inner tubes ($10), a Shimano Flight Deck computer ($125), and clipless cycling shoes to boot ($100). All for the price of $625? I bit.

Somewhere along the 20-mile trek back home, I realized that this bike was too valuable to be used as a commuter bike. I didn't want to find my bike stripped of its pedals or wheels or seat, and there's no way to secure everything. I ought to invent some kind of shocking device (something taser-esque?) such that anyone getting too close to my bike would be in for a nasty surprise.