Karaoke in Koreatown

After a few incidents of glass-shattering caterwauling at parties and lunches, Phil decided to organize Fed karaoke night. Upon looking at the location, I was mildly appalled at how out of the way Lincoln Karaoke was, rather far north in the midst of Koreatown. However, the Yelp reviews provided some gems like:

"Where else will they provide LA-Gear style light-up tambourines?"

"It's announced to the owner that it's Lee's Birthday. Free shots!! What does our gracious Korean host serve us up? "It translates roughly into 'Rocky Mountain Bear Fucker." Four different shots and I think one was amaretto and another was tequila so. . .you know. . ."

"I discover the owners' really polite children doing homework and watching Lilo and Stitch in another karaoke room. I begin to wonder who has been mixing all the drinks."

If that does not spell "Awesome" to you, then you should probably go watch a movie instead.

So, last night I made my way down a desolate, lonely stretch of Lincoln Ave, past a bunch of Korean laundromats and bulgogi joints, and stopped in front of a plain white strip-mall type building with a poorly lit "Lincoln Karaoke" sign. The six-panel wood door looked completely out of place and betrayed no noise behind it. I nervously stepped inside to see a long hallway with small rooms off the sides, suspiciously what I imagine a brothel to look like.

Luckily, Phil and a few others were already there, and they waved me into our private room. I stepped inside to find two flat-screen displays, half a dozen microphones with reverb, a disco ball and an assortment of tambourines, plus plenty of couch seating. The background images behind the lyrics seemed completely random; at various points in the night, we saw dogs chasing frisbees, naked babies, the Eiffel Tower and parasailers. The lyrics themselves were sometimes a bit kreatyve, if you will. Sentences like "cum on make some noize" would flash on screen, and intermittently, during instrumental breaks, the screen would tell us "Have a good time!!"

The playlist binder is chock-full of titles...in foreign languages. Though the majority of the songs are K and J-pop titles, the english selection is still pretty wide. And by that, I mean they had Electric Six's "Gay Bar." When I discovered that, this place automatically got my seal of approval. There are also sections of other languages, including Spanish, Vietnamese, and Russian.

Without hesitation, I immediately started belting out some Maroon 5. In the event that liquid courage is necessary though, there is a full bar available, and we even got a free bottle of champagne to boot. Our host suggested the Long Island iced teas "if you want to get drunk fast," and indeed, they put about 5 shots of alcohol into that drink. (The legality of this is questionable, but we're not going to harp on that.) They also had a decent beer selection (I got to try the Goose Island Winter Ale), and served appetizers like dumplings and wings.

The rest of the party filtered in (I koala'ed Warren when he arrived from Iowa), and pretty soon, we were all dancing and screaming at the top of our lungs to Michael Jackson. I also rediscovered some trashy middle school classics like Aqua's "Dr. Jones" and Spice Girls' "Wannabe." I wonder where those albums are...erm.

When we left four hours later, our voices were hoarse and I had Mariah Carey stuck in my head. I can see how this place would not jive with certain types, but if you have the right crowd, this is a great (and relatively cheap) venue for entertainment.